xkissmequicklyx

soo...
ive found  her on myspace...
and i wrote her a message.
i really hope she write back, even if its just a "hey i remember you..."
and i hope she smiles, she always made me smile, and always knew the right thing to say...
shes still beautiful :] and still the same. it made me happy.
i hope she remembers me i really do.
i love finding long lost friends

<3 with love <3

well i just got back from my sisters and my RUN... yes run we do this just about EVERYDAY now at 5:30 am we left a 6 am thins morning to reach my grams at 6:30.... good timing....considering we walked a little bit because we almost puked our brains out. we havent ran like that in over a year. it felt really good, minus the fact i didnt go to sleep last night to make shure we both got up.... my alarm clock isnt very loud... today i anm maing $$$money$$$ at my gramps' house and tomorrow at 6:30 am i am going to work with my other grandfather at Tailor Rental to work there with him. should be interesting. well im waiting here waiting for max to come online seeing as i want to talk to him about random things.... so i can start my day off laughing or some shit. but nope i think he is sleeping seeing it is 7:10 am now. i am tired. i have to work. i need money. i need to find my true love. i need to mutilate someone. oh well. wow i have ALOT of needs.
this is what happens at 7 in the morning,... you get all bored and lovey because you have him on you mind and cant talk to him..... oh well i know he loves me but i cant love him like he loves me..... because some things stand in my way. well  im out now....
-Leandra

i think im going to a huge party on friday... i really hope so.. maybe saturday...
i thikn im also going to a rave sometime soon... hmmm what joys!!! mayybe i can get concert tickets to something good soon to like NIN Manson... or just a kick-ass concert somewhere.... depends on how much im getting paid for the jobs i have been doing.... if its not enough for concert tickets i need to buy a new fishnet shirt seeing mine got kinda ripped...
but thats all i have time to do i have to go play my guitar since ya know i havent done it yet today..
-Leandra

Ive been extremely busy.. like no other... but oh well. i have alot of things to do... hmm look for a job deff. i want to save up money for a mazda... a sexxy car i like.. so i will have a car... hmm it would be awesome...
so yeah this weekend have been fun filled i guess... st. b's fair asnd firworks on sat... saw a bunch of ppl... sunday family got together... that was ok and i actually have been spending alot of time with my uncle because he takes me out of Leominster... hmm we go everywhere to NH and CT its nice to leave this place... well thats about it i guess...
leandra

Tommy Gnosis


Which HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

well ok i guess i was wrong the wedding wasnt as horrible as i htought it would be. the hotel was nice.. even thought they had no pool. on the way there we drove by really hot goth boys and skater boys as most people who label would call them... well my room got reaaaaally cold so i think im sick now... meh, that sucks... wow i still cant believe school is out. i feel like im have to wake up at 5:45 tomorrow... but i dont. but then again summer means PARTY PARTY PARTY!!!! well depending on if my report card is good, but then again i can hide it and say i never got it... hmm yes.. lol haha in the hotel i kinda started freaking out... you see i have an obsession with mirror... so i took my eyeliner and wrote "I'm Sorry" on it and took a picture.. and then i took my thin tube of lotion and wrote "Love Me" and took another picture.. I'd post the pictures but i dont have my camera cord on me... so once i find it i will.. Bedroom = trashed = need to clean !!! ha i kinda left my hotel room a mess... OH WELL...
i think i finally realized something and its sad... i think i finally know why i break so many peoples hearts when i get really cose to them... i htinkim afraid of commitment. it sounds crazy but, im afraid to hurt people like my mom hurt my dad. even though i would never cheat on people... but its just crazy i guess...
oh well.. the wedding was really great. they seem so happy together... if only my parents could have been that way.. but hmm they finally got there divorce so it will never happen...
hopefully i can hang out with my sexxxy friends tomorrow... seeing today is fathers day im spending it w/ my dad... hmm well its ok.. cuz hes crazy.. hehe
if only people knew about my craziness.. and issues.... well if they knew.. id be in a mental ward. insane asylum!!! woot the fucking woooot! SIIIIKKKKE!
well i dont really have much to write about.. that basically sums it all up...

thanx max! i loove this!!!

well i just got back from KATIES house.... it was crazy.. we fiiinally watched
"HALF BAKED" together... that was fun fun fun... and now i am talking to Kenan!!! woot woot i havent taked to that MO-FO in FOREVER!!! yes as he says "I LOOK GOOD" haha yeah i kinda had to send him pics of my purple and black hair... cuz ya know... i havent seen him in ages... man i miss him... alot... hes the shizot lol damn finals suuuuck... i hate them like whoa. hmm anyway.. shit w/ the christoffer is good... hmm still really confused about alot of things.. but ya know.. lifes gotta go on- well i have to go to a damn wedding this weekend... that means no bondage pants and fishnets... uhhhh ::-sighs-:: i have to look "respectable" so i yet again get to be even more fake... another fake smile and a fake attitude... a whole weekend with my "beloved" family... oh what joys i have in life... can someone just shoot me now? wow at least i get to spend one night in a really nice hotel... maybe ill go swimming.. who knows...
anyways... today was two more finals.. .algebra 1 and animal science... hmm i hope i did good. i got a 70 on my biology dinal.. and i htink i did acceptional on my health final.. tomorrows finals are: english (poo) and History (i get to cheat)
yeah my history teacher is a saint. she gave us a huge index card to write answers on... yea GO AVE BABE!!! wow.. im a loser. anyway there is nothing here in Leominster, Massachusetts.... nope. just a small town with loads of skanks...
watch and look out for the hobos... they may rape us all. and then you have the steroe typers... wow they blow donkey-dick... i remember just the other day... i was walking home from the mall with my sexxy friends and some kid was like
"FUCK YOU YOU FUCKIN FREEAAKS..." I kinda laughed my ass off. ya know.. cause i am the coolest kid ever... SIIIIKE! well i am out now..
~*~YoU CaN LearN AnD LovE TO HatE ME~*~
-x-Leandra-x-

oh yeah..

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
Your name:
Weapon of Choice:	Shovel
Your Favorite Target:	Cops
Your Kill Count:	1,116,104,312
Your Battle Cry:	"Who let the dogs out?"
Years You Spend in Jail:	15
How Much Money In Damages You Cause:	$199,096,679,441,144
Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 83%
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

well i officially hate livejournal... my backround of manson then msi kinda disappeared...
::jerks off hand motion:: (to bad there is no penis to jerk though) lmao
wow i hate this shit. haha
any way interesting convo of the day..
user maxcore: don't worry, sometime in the summer i'll take you to taco bell and we can both make out while eating buritos
aTearOfSuicide6: haha
aTearOfSuicide6: yes yes we can
....yet another.....
aTearOfSuicide6: if i were a lesbian id marry you here in mass
aTearOfSuicide6: but i am not
xstarstoscarsx: ditto
xstarstoscarsx: :-D
aTearOfSuicide6: so until that day we are both lesbians.... we can love each other as friends...
aTearOfSuicide6: haha
xstarstoscarsx: sounds goood
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-STRAIGHT EDGERS ROCK MY BOD-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
(^random^) im exremely bored and tired... this final reveiw is kicking my ass...
oh my tommorrow bio and health final.... shiiiiiit this totally suucks...
-----------------I FOUND THE PLACE AND I KNOW HOW I WILL DO IT-----------------
and wow no one knows what that means..could mean 20 million different things.. for me it means 3 things... and there good things... for the most part! tee-hee
anyway... i went to a place in athol/orange called "RootBeer River" it was awesome i almost fell of the rocks into a huge ass waterfall..yep i wouldve died.. which would have been bad... since you werent supposed to go out past the wires..but i wanted to touch the water and takes pics so i did.... ya know... you gotta break the rules once in awhile...
(here goes the ramblings of saddness... may a well skip that part)
anyway no one understands i am a naturaly sad preson because of so much shit i have been through in my life and childhood.. but to me i think.. "why dont they understand?"
whats wrong with me? why do i have twisted thoughts?.... i odnt understand how most people can walk around all "happy-go-lucky" is it fake..or are they real?
i have so many questions that are so heard to answer...
(its finished now... im sorry)
so yeah i drove around almost all day i went to the mall and newbies with christoffer... it was ok. could have been better... but i guess it was fine... so anyway my dad is going to the airport tonight with my sister... to pick up my gramps... wooot woot i get the house to myself tonight... well i htink hes gunna let me stay there...ill be pissed if he makes me go to someone esles house... i mean i wont have anyone over or anything.. i mean casue i have no friends and all.. haha well i can tell him that atleast.. nah i kinda just wanna be alone to myself tonight... well i am out.. i think this is enuff for everyone to soak up.
-learn and love to hate me-
~*~>Leandra<~*~

*So our open wounds will bleed
Until our veins run dry
Now we have to take this thorn
And tear it from our side
Agitated at the fault line
Still agreed to disagree
Your connected to the heart
But tonight we'll set you free
*So swallow the knife
Carve the way for your pride
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night
To start over again

how long have you known me?
are we friends?
whats my fav color?
whats my fav book?
whats my fav movies?
who are my best friends?
describe me me in 5 words?
what do you think of me?
will we still be friends in a couple of yers?
do you love me?
where did we meet?
if you could say one thing to me waht would it be?
whats my best outer feature?
inner feature?
whats my worst outer feature?
inner feautre?
are you envous if me?
if so why?
will you come visit me?now?
whats your 2 best memories of me?







sorry i am bored!!

I have these thoughts of pain...
I have these thoughts of dieng...
I cant help it with the plastic smile
Im the girl with a million masks
One for everyday...
Just so you cant see the pain.
I hate myself for everything..
i guess i can not see
Maybe you would like to find
out whats inside of me..
These feelings last a lifetime
a million dollar loss
Something i choose not to live
But something i must walk...
My friends seem like they hate me
My parents dont seem to care...
why the fuck do i matter?
Its like im not even there.
These tears taste of sweet hatred
The blood srips down pure red.
I am the same as all of you..
I just have a different I.Q.
Maybe i am brilliant...
Maybe i am dumb...
you will never know...
because i am so slum...

with these sweet words i think of you and what im missing... i do still love you...

HIM: my lips still daydream of yours
HIM: because i loved it when we kissed
HIM: and hugged, and everything else
ME: thats really sweet
ME: (made me smile!! teehee)
HIM: = )
HIM:but i remember saying to him
"her hair was purple with black streaks and random sparks, my finger tips still have daydreams of the texture of her hair, and i'm still licking and chewing my bottom lip, just to see if i can still taste her"
ME: awww thats cute
HIM: Yea, i get all poetic and emo when i think about you, and how i love you

ahhh stooop talking to me like that!!! ahhhh pulls out hair!!!
ha slumber parties and spin the bottle.. hmm i feel like a second grade girl...2
hmmm anyway thats it for now... besides this kick ass thing i wrote today:

-Sorry i have hurt you so much
-Im sorry for what ive done
-hopefully someday youll forgive me
-tomorrow i may be gone...
-Just because you say im the one
-Its my fault i screwed up
-its all because im dumb
-throw away everything good to me
-even he who was there for me
-Im not shure of what to do...
-i should get some help for all the shit i do....

hope you enjoyed...
-Leandra

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10 were do i stand as a friend?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?

I hate myself for so much shit. no need to explain mostly everyone knows everything. im so sick of this school deal. thank whoever that it is basically done. Finals next week. whos screwed? i think i am! well maybe not. im still ungrounded its deff. a record! and i looove almost every second of getting outta the house. i was supposed to go to a baseball game tonight but i didnt bother asking because i hate baseball and im not in the mood to se people i dont know and dont like...plus im not one who goes to shit like that. As you can see i am not the -School Girl Cheerleader With the School Spirit- ha well that sums up alot about me... so me and max are talking and we're not agruing.. i love this, its soo much better... i hope i never argue with him again, it just brings me down even more... and i think im really DOWN THERE so i dont need it... i wanna go to a rave. yaknow cuz i looove to paaaaarttty! ha i havent been to a good party in like a month. anyways, i still havent gone to any concerts lately which totally suuucks. im still waiting for the ALMIGHTY GREATNESS MARILYN MANSON to come around. i would work my ass off to be able to buy tickets for him... well Between the Buried and Me plays i htink this weekend.. i can not go, since i am broke and because I AM A POOOOR WHIITE GIRL. Well my friend Kelley likes me i think... she is so beautiful, and i dont know why she would like me...aslo some other girl... hmmmm but im with chris so she can not have me... i love her to death though.. shes deff my woman! haha she calls me angel and her baby...its so cute... anyway her boyfriend ahyes that she likes me. but oh well. ha i made a random *wave8 to my Katie... i went out side and waved to her since she is across the street living there... hmmm shes complete awesomeness... so yeah. i lit a desk and sandle on fire today..man im sucha firebug... mwuahaha
-yep i had 2 anxiety attacks today maybe 3.... i kinda try not to count... its not to fun. I didnt have spanish class today which was a relief. dot get me wrong shes a nice teacher...but i hate her -oh well on the brighter note i have and 80 in history!!!! woo-hooo THANX (AVE BABE!!!! YOU RAWK)
well i guess this is long enuff...
-learn and love to hate me- .:*|L|E|A|N|D|R|A|*:.

xKissMeQuicklyx's LJ stalker is 4000rainynights!

4000rainynights is stalking you because they think you are the one who made anonymous abusive LJ comments. They are also eating your food when you aren't looking!

Well... the day was semi bad-semi good. it had its ups and downs. in the morning i was really stressing out since i hadnt finished my history project that was worth 200 points, but my health teacher is the shit and let me go to the computer lab to do it... and i ended up finishing in my animal science class. jenn brought me home today..thatnx hunny. i felt bad she was kinda having a rough afternoon. i got her to smiole a few times... ummm when i got home i called just about every Animal Hospital in Leominster to look
for Volunteer work because that would look really good on my college applications seeing i want to go to Tufts University, but no luck. Im going to try again in a few weeks. Random convo of the day:
user maxcore: everybody likes pig destroyer, it's like a happy meal.
silentseduction7: hahaha
silentseduction7: do i get a toy if i reallly like em?
user maxcore: oh hell yes
*anyway... my mom is moving to conneticut. i kinda want to go with her, but i can not. i have to much going on for me here in Leominster, even though this town suucks it is my home and i have alot of family and friends here. i still didnt get my damn barbell from my aunt which totally sucks i need it so bad. my fuck*ing industrial bled during Ave Babes class today (history) for like 25 minutes... hey it happens, even thought it shouldnt. i also kind helped the bleeding to start because i kinda hit it reallly hard on accident. but im over it. well this is it for about now. im am out later masturbaters
-leandra-

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